To avoid myself dari fikir banyak dan fikir yang bukan2, i need to blog this time.

I love myself. Do you ? I thought dalam dunia ni aku jer yang ada masalah dalaman like you know, feeling stress, like something is wrong with you, i mean you just felt so empty. why, why ? why baby why ?

I think too much. That's why la tadi headache. My parents senang je cakap yang bila pening2 tu terlalu overstressed, tekanan perasaan, padahal tak de la plak aku banyak fikir since pagi tadi, I just felt pening. Tu je. Or maybe aku TAK PERASAN yang actually AKU MEMANG STRESSED.

I do love myself, bila dah ada statement macam ni, kau dah tak kan rasa feeling like empty, hati kosong dan sebagainya, sebab aku selalu praktikkan, atau mindsetkan dalam hati, it's okey, Allah ada. Betul la dalam Al-Quran pun ada tulis, "Manusia memang sentiasa berada dalam keadaan yang gelisah dan keluh kesah". Maaf aku tak sure ayat mana surah apa. tapi aku yakin memang manusia Allah jadikan macam tu.

Iman turun naik, takwa belum tentu teguh, aku baru perasan lepas maghrib tadi aku TAK BACA Al-Quran. MasyaAllah, effect dia, aku keluh kesah dan gelisah dalam SATU MALAM je !! Aku rasa sedih tiba2, rasa nak nangis pun ada, apekah ? Perempuan memang banyak melibatkan emosi, tapi ni tak ada kaitan pms ke bagai ehh. It is just NORMAL.

Bila kau happy, kau tak akan ade perasaan macam yang aku rasa sekarang ni. You wont feel bother with anything and you can sleep just fine. Aku ? Susah nak tidur beb. Masalah masalah. Now i understand my abah yang selalu mengadu tak leh tido, selalu terjaga malam, maybe it is because he is too OVERSTRESSED THINKING.

Benda macam ni jelas2 dah tak sihat. YES. SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. I need to figure it out. Maybe lifestyle aku. Kurang khusyuk dalam solat. APa2 sahaja yang sampai boleh buat aku macam ni. And if i had figure it out, of course i need to face it. Change it, because i reaally dislike of what happening to myself now.

Nak kata aku banyak menghabiskan masa seorang diri these day. Yes it is true but doesnt mean that im really stressed of being alone. Come on la. Being alone is such a precious time for me. Not having chitchat friend? I did met a lot of people in my everyday life. Opening my club and meeting my club members, becoming into their good listener for theirs so much storiesss...

I dont felt burden pun for their previous stories, chitchat, i just love to listen to them. My very pleasure. Hiks.

There is something wrong with me, and i think i know what it is. And YES, of course, i have to change. But im kind of afraid, can i or will i ?

The only way is to move on and work harder. Play hard, work harder. Success awaits.